Try It: Sentence Structure

Academic Writing

Read the following passage pulled from a grant proposal written by an undergraduate microbiology student. Critique any run-on sentences, sentence fragments, and nonparallel structures you find as you read the passage. The sentences have been numbered to aid you in your comments.

Diagram of chemokine: two red spiral structures surrounded by blue tendrils. Arrows point from one spiral point to another across each structure(1) Several antimicrobial proteins are produced in the body. (2) These proteins
attach to the cell walls of microbes and cause cell death through diverse mechanisms. (3) Chemokines are one type of these antimicrobial proteins. (4) Chemokines have generally been shown to direct immune cells to sites of infection in a body. (5) Some chemokines have been found to demonstrate antimicrobial properties; however, this has not been studied thoroughly.

(6) These antimicrobial chemokines may play an important role in innate immune response. (7) Not just as chemoattractants but also as active participants in the immune response. (8) The chemokine CCL28 has been shown to have antimicrobial properties (Liu 2010), our lab has also confirmed these findings. (9) Previous research has shown that the C terminal region of the chemokine CCL28 is largely responsible for the antimicrobial activity (Liu 2010). (10) However, it has not been shown what the C terminus region of the chemokine binds to.


Look at these two popular quotes. How do they employ parallelism?

  1. With great power comes great responsibility.[1]
  2. Live. Laugh. Love.


Liu, Bin, and Eric Wilson. “The Antimicrobial Activity of CCL28 Is Dependent on C-terminal Positively-charged Amino Acids.” European Journal of Immunology 40.1 (2010): 186–96. Print.

  1. The original of this quote is actually "With great power there must also come—great responsibility!" (Lee, Stan, and Steve Ditko. Amazing Fantasy #15. 10 Aug. 1962. Digital.)