Funny Sentences | 70+ Ideas to Bring the Laughs

Do you ever find yourself in a boring or tense situation, wondering what to say? Or maybe you want to impress your friends with weird or witty sayings. Not to worry—we’ll have you cracking jokes faster than you can say, “Well, this is awkward.”

If you want funny sentences that are tailored to your specific situation, QuillBot’s AI Chat is here to help. Simply describe what you’re looking for, and it will generate endless ideas with the click of a button.

Short funny sentences

• Smile, it confuses people.
• What a year this week has been.
• My brain has too many tabs open.
• Sorry I’m late, I didn’t want to come.
• I need a 6-month vacation, twice a year.
• The rotation of the Earth really makes my day.
• We put the “fun” in “dysfunctional.”
• We aren’t in Kansas anymore.
• Well that was a plot twist.

Funny sentences for when you’re embarrassed 

• That was not my best work.
• “That’s not gonna haunt us for the rest of our lives at all.”—Anxiety, Inside Out 2
• I am currently understaffed.
• So now that I’ve shown you what NOT to do…
• To the untrained eye, it would appear I don’t know what I’m doing.
• I think my guardian angel drinks.
• Well that’s my cue to leave.
• Sorry, my two remaining brain cells are on strike.
• I’ll be over here, practicing my smooth recovery.
• I’m pretty sure I just forgot how to human for a second.
• Yup, gravity still works!

Funny captions for social media

• Me: No problemo. Narrator: But it was a problemo.
• 2076 is going to be my year; I can feel it.
• Nothing beats a Jet 2 holiday.
• It’s giving
• A little delulu
• Mood: unbothered
• I’m a red flag, but the material is quality.
• Just me and my unhealthy sleep schedule against the world

Funny sentences about adulting

• Can’t adult, send help
• Mondays are for crying.
• I’m an adult the same way a tomato is a fruit.
• Procrastination is my superpower.
• Forever on snooze
• Adulting is soup and I am a fork.
• Not today, responsibilities

Random funny things to say

• Who wants a cookie?
• That’s how they get you!
• This is why we can’t have nice things.
• You let them Shenan once, they’ll Shenanigan.
• Please hesitate to contact me.
• Life is short. Smile while you still have teeth.
• Don’t let anyone else ruin your day. Ruin it yourself. 
• God knew I would be too powerful if I understood math.
• 6:30 is the best time on a clock, hands down.
• Give me a second to overthink about it.

Funny expressions

• You plant potatoes, you get potatoes.
• Busier than a beaver in a forest
• Let’s blow this popsicle stand!
• Well butter me up and call me a biscuit.
• Sometimes the grass is greener because it’s fake.
• Don’t be ashamed of who you are. That’s your parents’ job.
• The trouble with being awesome is that opposites attract.

Funny quotes

• “I always arrive late at the office, but I make up for it by leaving early.”—Charles Lamb
• “If you can’t be kind, at least be vague.”—Judith Martin
• “Why can’t you just be happy for me and then go home and talk behind my back later like a normal person?”—Lillian, Bridesmaids
• “I cook with wine; sometimes, I even add it to food.”—W.C. Fields
• “According to the map, we’ve only gone four inches.”—Harry Dunne (Jeff Daniels), Dumb and Dumber
• “I have a lot of growing up to do. I realized that the other day inside my fort.”—Zach Galifianakis
• “My mother always used to say: The older you get, the better you get, unless you’re a banana.”—Rose, The Golden Girls
• “Clothes make the man. Naked people have little or no influence in society.”—Mark Twain
• “I’m not superstitious, but I am a little stitious.” — Michael Scott, The Office
• “I’m not good at the advice. Can I interest you in a sarcastic comment?”—Chandler, Friends
• “As you get older, three things happen. The first is your memory goes, and I can’t remember the other two.”—Sir Norman Wisdom
• “There is one word that describes people who don’t like me: irrelevant.” —Anonymous

Food-related funny sentences

• One day, I’m going to make the onions cry.
• Waffles are just pancakes with abs.
• Brunch without champagne is just sad breakfast.
• Just here for the food
• I am thankful for all the different ways to eat potatoes.
• I’m on a seafood diet. I see food and I eat it.

Frequently asked questions about funny sentences

What are some funny ways to say hello?

Some funny ways to say hello are:

• Howdy doody!
• Ahoy-hoy!
• Hidey ho, neighborino!
• Greetings, Earthling.
• Yo, homeslice!
• What’s crackalackin’?
• What’s shakin’, bacon?
• What’s up, buttercup?
• Knock knock. Who’s there? Me, saying hi!
• What’s cookin’, good lookin’?

For more funny ways to say hello, ask QuillBot’s AI Chat.

What are some funny name puns?

Some funny name puns are:

• Anita bath.
• Clare-ly, I need more coffee!
• Noah good joke? Because I do!
• Al be there for you!
• Paige me when you need me.
• Justin time for the meeting!
• Luke who’s talking!
• Ben there, done that!

If writing wordplay jokes like funny name puns, try QuillBot’s Paraphraser to come up with more creative word choices.

What are some funny cat puns?

Some funny cat puns are:

• You’ve got to be kitten me right meow!
• That was claw-some!
• I’m paws-itively thrilled!
• You look fur-midable today!
• I’m totally feline good about this!
• Let’s paws for a moment of appreciation.
• You’re the purr-son I’ve been looking for!
• My cat is so smart, he deserves a meow-ster’s degree!

If you’re writing wordplay jokes like funny cat puns, use QuillBot’s Paraphraser to get more creative word choices.